Here we are just 2 months away from a year, how exciting! I'm so looking forward to reaching that one year mark because I am truly hoping that within that next year of waiting we will finally know the face our hearts so desire. With that comes a bit of a change... in our age range. We were 0-2 and now it will be 0-4 yay! Why the change? Well I'm so glad you asked...
I will attempt to answer some questions I think you might be thinking and maybe even some you didn't know you were thinking:
What does this mean? - Well just what you would think it means in the literal sense, it means that instead of getting a child up to the age of 2 he could now be up to the age of 4. It also means that because he is older he will likely remember better than a younger child might, what event happened that caused him to be orphaned which = a longer healing period/adjustment that will cause us to be in the cocooning/attachment phase longer. This also means a homestudy update... stay tuned...
How did you decide this? - So this one is sort of a long story I would say. Choose which ever one you would like to read!
Here is the short: We believe the Lord told us to.
Here is the long: When we started this process back in 2010 before ever even announcing it to the world we had assumed since it was our first child we would request a baby because after all that is what you start out with, right? I mean what do I know about a toddler. Usually you just kind of think about it as a learn as you go experience. No parent knows what they're doing right? and what better way to do that than start from the beginning rather that just jumping in there during the 4th quarter, know what I'm sayin?
My dear friend Rebekah gave me the Created 4 Care CD she got when she went to the conference the first year it began. I remember listening to Cris Peters' story about their adoption, she adopted 2 older boys (wish I could remember their ages!) I was so moved by her story and God began to stir my heart. She didn't paint a picture of all "pretty, happy adoption family" she told the real, the raw, the struggles that they went through to become a family by God's grace. I came home one night and told Adam, "I think we need to expand our age range." My husband, who generally prefers older kids anyways happily agreed! He's not so much for the newborn, little baby, can't hold their head up phase. So we decided we felt comfortable going up to 2 years old.
Fast forward to just a couple of months ago. I can't pinpoint one specific thing that started happening to begin to change my heart yet again to an older child. It was a steady flow of things coming my way, articles I was reading, blogs of people with older children, a monthly conference call update with our agency, conversations with friends about adopting those most vulnerable to name a few. I just felt like we needed to be open to something else. I kept all this to myself trying to discern what it all mean .
Then one night on the way to church just minutes before we pull into the parking lot my dear husband says, "I think we need to expand our age range up to 3 or 4." I said, "You know what I have been thinking that too!" He then said, "WHAT?! I really thought you were going to say I was crazy! and why are you mentioning that 1 minute before we get to church?!" Isn't it cool how the Lord works.
So here we are.
Do you know what you are doing? - I would ask you, does any parent? I have followed one of my bloggy friends Leigh's journey from before she even got a referral for their little guy and she has done such a tremendous job so I decided to email her and ask a billion and one questions. She was super sweet to respond and give me lots of information. Hubby and I talked about it and I really had a peace and confidence that this was something I could do and we could do. We plan to do lots more attachment reading/studying and our agency also requires us to go to a training at their offices in Texas. So we will likely be doing that in Feb or March.
We are excited about what the Lord has called us to and know that it will be difficult and scary but oh so rewarding.
he one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it. 1 thes. 5:24